This is a pretty accurate replication of Allen's public ftp directory on NyetKom. I stole the descriptions for all the files directly from his .message file. I will warn you that some of Allen's stories are really graphic (don't eat lunch first) but also really funny. They just unfold themselves in the reader's mind in full blown THX technicolor splendor. Allen was a master of the adjective. I am still hunting down some of his original fiction, so if you have some of his work archived please send it to me! Enjoy these, they are the one facet of Allen's personality that will always live forever in our memory.

• Allen's Original Works
  • Fairy.txt
    A story about the Butt-Fairy, by Allen Wintermute
  • GS-VOL1.txt
    Gross-Stories, Volume 1: "The Spittoon"
  • fart.txt
    Gross-Stories, Volume 2: "The Fart Heard Round the World"
  • Sideshow.txt
    True tale of the tasteless Jim Rose Circus
  • Tofu.txt
    The origins of Tofu, by Allen Wintermute
  • Vomit.txt
    True Story! "Technicolor Vomit From Mexico"
  • housekeeping.txt
    Allen's "Good Housekeeping"
  • finger.txt
    Allen's finger information from his shell account
  • message1.txt
    Allen's original login message on his NyetKom public ftp account
  
  
• Allen's ASCII Works
  • Barney.asc
    Purple dinosaur hides subliminal messages
  • Cows.asc
    Herds and herds of ASCII cows!
  • Plane.asc
    A propeller-driven fighter plane
  • T-Rex.asc
    Jurassic Park meets barney & Friends =)
  • Cruiser.asc
    What would have been Allen's new .Sig
  
  
• Miscellaneous
  • Calories.txt
    Nutritional value of semen vs Lean Cuisine
  • Christ.txt
    "Christ at a Kegger"
  • CowNames.txt
    How to say my favorite word in 29 languages
  • Crime.txt
    A fake newspaper article about crime
  • God.txt
    Newspaper article: Ross Perot buys God
  • Pooh.txt
    "Pooh Goes Apeshit" by A. A. Milne
  • Spam.txt
    Nikolaus Maack's famous post about Spam love
  • Squick.txt
    Beginners' Guide to Squicking from alt.tasteless